Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are a couple of reasons why most guys are too shy in approaching women who are with other guys.
They think that the woman is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.
This shouldn’t be the basis of not talking to a woman. Especially in a social setting like in the bar, where people meet other people. Plus - that woman is not a “slave” of the guy or a piece of property, she’s a human being and is free to whomever she chooses to talk to.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often a woman who is “with” a guy and this can draw out the guy’s jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The second reason why guys don’t approach woman who is “with” a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Guys assumed that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.
This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
He doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that can end up their game.
And then their genes were taken out of the “race” so to speak.
Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided confrontation.
The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she’s not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
I can’t tell you how many exact times I have approached a woman that is being with a guy that I thought he was “with” that guy or say a boyfriend, then only to find out that it was just a dude that approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.
So be smart and wise - don’t just stick around on having a false judgment.
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