I think it is very fitting to speak about my dad in this blog this week. He passed away a week ago Monday, and it was truly a week of sadness and also soul searching for me. I thought about this blog a lot. My dad had chronic adult-onset diabetes, you see.
In the days of my childhood my dad and I had a great time together, and our time always included goodies. Ice cream, donuts, and candy bars were among our favorites. We laughed and sang and ate in a fairy tale world where I had never even heard of food addiction or cravings.
My dad and I both loved to eat, and it was one of the ways in which we bonded.
But as I watched my dad in the last years of his life, I remember thinking so frequently “What a price pleasure in food can exact.” As time went by my father could hardly walk due to his diabetes. He couldn’t see very well. Food began to have no flavor at all and he had a hard time swallowing. He spent his days dozing listlessly in a chair, and was sad beyond measure at the loss of all that he had ever enjoyed in life.
And the odd irony was that toward the end my father couldn’t even eat from the havoc to his body. And one might even say that in the end he died of starvation.
So what is there to say about all of this? I know for me I lived a full seven years with no traces of sugar, wheat, or flour in my body- as well as a whole host of other ingredients. And it took a lot of work because in truth there is hardly a box, can, or jar on a grocery store shelf that does not contain at least one of these ingredients, and usually they have a lot more than one. Now I live mostly craving- free, perhaps because it also takes seven years for the cells in a human body to replace themselves. Considering that the cells in your body literally become addicted to those substances, I probably don’t have any addicted cells left.
During the week after my dad’s death I did partake in some of the typical no-nos. I had some ketchup, which contains sugar. I had a few onion rings. My family, now used to a whole new me, was shocked. I feel that perhaps it was just my yearning to once again feel some comfort in food, as if my dad were back with me. But I know I tread on dangerous waters, and I don’t suggest you try it- especially if you still have most of your old, addicted cells.
So here is where I am left regarding this whole issue. My dad could not avoid his fate. He didn’t know about food addiction, or what to do about it. And so he followed an inevitable path to destruction. I have another possibility. I can stick to the foods that make me feel healthy and vibrantly alive and that do not cause cravings. And I can educate others on how to do the same. And I can hope that the grocery stores eventually begin to offer us more options. And by doing this, I can most fully honor my father’s love- and his greatness. For he was a truly amazing man, in every way.